Heritage

Tonight I did a home repair project entirely with my Grandfather's tools. It wasn't a complicated project, just re-grouting some of the tub. The tools were straightforward, just two small paint scrapers. At least I thought they were both paint scrapers. As I worked diligently at removing the old layer of caulk, I pushed hard against the flat metal tool and promptly sliced my finger open. Brilliant. As I scanned the blade, I realized it was sharp on one side, but blunt on the other. (Wish I had noticed that from the outset.) It wasn't a scraper, at least not a paint scraper. My Grandfather (Armand) had a shoe repair shop for more than 50 years. It didn't take much to imagine him leaning over his worn wooden work bench stripping a worn soul of a loafer. I like to think that he might have knicked his finger with the blade too. Misery loves company. My Grandpa has been gone for more than 20 years. Not much connects me to him anymore. I aspire to have the work ethic he had, but my box full of cobbler's tools has brought me more joy than I would ever have imagined. It makes me feel connected somehow. Across the decades, we strived to use our hands to make things better. Maybe its a guy thing. I know I don't have many male relatives around, so the testosterone reaching across the generations is comforting. As we all learn eventually, we never truly recover from the loss of a loved one. (I'm a little misty as I right this.). Memories ambush us at the strangest times. Tonight I connected with my grandpa while fixing the bathtub. Like is amazing.

Mediocrity - The worst sin?

I have an old hacksaw in my garage. I don't remember where I got it, but I've had it forever. I don't often need to cut metal so it hangs on a peg most of the time. When the need arises to use it, I'm often frustrated by how poorly it works. The metal resists the old worn teeth and I struggle to get a straight cut. But at the end of the project, I hang the saw up and go about my work. The task was accomplished. It was inefficient and a pain, but it got done. Six months from now I am going to need to cut something and the cycle will go on.

Its the worst way of being, not bad enough to change. Not good enough to generate affection. Yet how often to I live my life that way. I am concerned about gas mileage, not paying too much for lunch or making sure we don't run out of toilet paper. All important things (especially the t.p. one) but they just don't matter much.

I'm concerned about how often I present myself as mediocre to others. I do enough to get by, yet I fail to leave fingerprints of excellence on my accomplishments. My challenge in the coming days, especially with Christmas looming, do not be mediocre - strive for extraordinary.

No fear, just Love

Turning 40 is leading to a re-exploration (spell check doesn't care for that word) of my faith. Not in a "my-life-is-in-crisis" way, more of a "dude-your-40-you-should-have-some-of-this-figured-out" way. What to do? How does a middle aged guy who has been raised in a Christian family go deeper? Couple of ideas.

1. Roll Up My Sleeves & Get into the Word: Watching a rerun (spell check is fine with that word) of the West Wing, I was struck by how easily President Bartlett could quote chapter and verse. I cannot, even with my favorite verses. For years, I have blamed my faulty memory. (that will improve now that I'm 40, right?) I think the deeper truth may be that I've never read the whole book. (I apologize if Mrs. Egolf, my 4th grade Sunday School teacher reads this.) To that end, I bought and am one week into a Read The Bible in a Year Bible. One week down, 51 to go.


2. Find Other Folks Who Want to Go Deeper & Dig With Them: This morning I attended a Jump Start Men's Leadership training that is working through the book "Primal" by Mark Batterson. Good read. 22 men gathered on a Saturday morning to struggle with the Great Commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength - Mark 12:30" Our most fundamental commandment is to love, yet so much of what Christians spout is fear. Love is hard. It takes commitment, work and growth. Fear is easy. There are no disciplined cowards. The company of my brothers in Christ is giving me a forum to rethink my life choices.


3. Get Beyond Myself: It may sound funny for a guy who spends his days working for a social service organization, but often I get caught up in the statistics. I break God's heart when I minimize the struggles of his children. Grace Community Church has built and is sponsoring two orphanages in Asia. A missions team just returned and my heart has been moved by the lives being changed there. The children refer to all the church representatives as Mommy & Daddy. Our congregation is loving our neighbors as ourselves. I am trying to find a way to impact these little children of God too. No fear, just Love.

Birthday Reflections

Moments ago, my 40th birthday ended. My milestone moment was realizing the ridiculous number of blessings I have. I spent the day surrounded by friends, co-workers and family who all took time to wish me well. It was quite spectacular. Even my cyber-friends got into the act. More than 100 Facebook Friends took time to type out greetings and congratulations. I received more than 2 dozens texts. Some of you have been my friends for decades. Others only a few short months. The gratitude is hard to express. I am overwhelmed and humbled. Thank you.

4 buddies took me to dinner and a movie tonight. They were strangers with me as the only common thread. Our talk focused on football and kids. (Universal Dad Language). We laughed and enjoyed each other's company. They were (to quote our President) "easy company." Perhaps turning 40 makes you more comfortable in your own skin. There wasn't any pretentiousness or bragging, just honest fellowship. Perhaps I am just blessed with wise friends.

Tomorrow is breakfast out with my favorite three women in the whole world. My heart swells at the chance to spend a morning with them. Breakfast is the best meal to eat out. Hands down. We'll joke over toast and smile as we sip coffee. The family will chuckle as I inevitably make a list in a small notebook I carry. (I am a bit list obsessed, but that is another post.) We'll wander about for awhile after breakfast and then the day's lazy schedule will pull us back.

I don't mean to ramble. I am just overcome with the richness of relationships that surround me. If I am to spend this year taking stock of my life, I choose to begin here with those who surround me. My relationships bring me great joy and I will endeavor to pay back that joy in kind.